We often find ourselves drawn to someone who is not a good fit for us. Some things to consider when deciding to pursue a relationship should be whether or not the two of you have similar goals, values, communication styles and mutual attraction.


Occasionally, the person you’re pursuing may figure out that you're incompatible in one of these areas before you do. This may be hard, but it can be an opportunity. When you realize your feelings are not mutual, this is a good time to look inward. Before pursuing this person, did you evaluate your own ideas about what you're looking for? Do they really line up with what you want in a relationship? Maybe it's time to go back to the drawing board and come up with a clear set of standards for yourself.


It may be tempting to continue chasing them, to prove something to yourself or others, but this persistence is often viewed as very negative, unattractive, or even threatening to a potential partner. It will be a rare occurrence if they change their mind about your compatibility!


Even though it may be hard, Do not get fixated on the mindset that there is something wrong with you. More likely, there is a difference in what each of you is seeking in a partner.


When someone has made it clear you're not what they are looking for, my best advice is to scatter your energy. Pursue other avenues, both in your romantic life and your personal life. Put some of that energy into your career, a new hobby, or friendships, which in turn makes you a more valuable individual to date. Additionally, explore other romantic options! Don't limit yourself to thinking that they're the only person for you. There are plenty of attractive, interesting potential mates worth pursuing. You just have to look in the right places.

How have you handled rejection in the past?  Did you get upset and defensive or did you play it cool?  Share your strategy in the comments below!