Are Your Dating Expectations TOO HIGH?
Have you ever started dating someone and things were great to begin with only to be disappointed a few weeks or days later? We all have a picture in our minds of what our ideal relationship would look like. It may be half concocted from what Hollywood has sold us and the other half from seeing our friend’s perfect relationships posted all over social media.
Expectations Vs. Reality
What happens when we are disappointed in someone isn’t necessarily because they did something wrong. It’s because they failed to live up to these expectations that we had for them. Expectations that they know nothing about and quite frankly, aren’t reasonable for a human being. I can assure you Ryan Gosling in real life is nothing like the guy we saw in the Notebook.
This can go for anyone you encounter. It may be your parents, friends, etc. If you find yourself disappointed or annoyed by someone, ask yourself if it is it them and their actions/inaction that is bothering you or if it could be you. Some people are just not capable, given the tools and life experience, or simply don’t realize what you would like for them to do.
Either you may have to tell them or you may have to reset your expectations of them. This also means you shouldn’t put up with disrespect and chalk it up to them just being “someone”. While it takes time getting to know someone, you should stop seeing them if there are any red flags that point to them being an abusive person. It is a normal expectation to be treated with respect, not a high one.
Rather than try to make every person you date be “the one”, try just allowing them to be someone. Only time will tell if that someone will be there for the long run. That’s real time in real life, not just in your mind.