Women often complain to me all the good guys are taken. They say the reason they’re single is
because there aren’t any available men, they don’t have time for dating, or they’re afraid of
wasting their time and risking a broken heart. All of these perspectives make you unavailable.
Thoughts lead to words and words lead to actions. You must change something in your patterns
so that you can meet your true love. Take a sheet of paper and a pen and scribble down what
might be interfering with your openness in the dating world. What are your beliefs on dating and what are you afraid of? By knowing what’s wrong, you can address and fix your patterns. Here are my top 5 tips for being open and therefore, become more available.
Have An Open Mind And Heart
I can always tell after we set someone up on one date, if they’re going to be successful in
finding love. If they come back to me with a whole list of things that are “wrong” with their date,
then it’s a sure sign they’re not open. If they can hardly tell me anything good about the date,
then it tells me that they have someone so fixed in their mind and they’re attached to a list of
criteria that the person who is good enough for them should have. They’re approaching dating
like they’re buying a car and believe they couldn’t possibly be with someone unless that person
encompassed this laundry list of features.
Have an open mind and accept there are also other realities. We’ve all had a past relationship
that has altered our perception of the opposite sex and left us with sensitivities that will creep
into our future relationships. You must know that your behavior through the dating game will
mirror this sensitivity and belief, which will keep you closed off to future potential partners.
Identify your beliefs and sensitivities. Focus on the good ones.
Also, when you feel your mind drifting to a bad belief you may change your way of thinking. If
you keep believing that you deserve a trustworthy mate, it will happen. You can become more
available by opening up your heart, and changing your behaviors.
Focus On the Relationships
It’s true that by just saying yes to dates you can start a relationship. You also should be present
and not stuck in the past to become more available.
You may be thinking you don’t want to take any more risks with dating, and the same thing will
happen all over again. It’s necessary to focus on the relationship you want instead of a checklist
of characteristics the person needs to encompass. What kind of relationship do you want? You
have to be committed to the relationship as a separate entity then just the person, because
sometimes when you’re dating someone, you may not always get along and agree on
everything. You may not even like eachother very much at times, but it’s necessary to be
committed to the relationship you want so you’re willing to do the work to make it happen.
Couples who were married for 10 years were surveyed. Some of them were coupled from
arranged marriages and some were coupled on their own. The survey revealed that couples
who came from arranged marriages were actually happier 10 years later. This is because they
knew going into the relationship they were committed to making it work.
Forget Your Past Mistakes
We’ve all made some mistakes in our previous relationships, but we have to let them go. The
past is in the past. Don’t drag it into your future. Don’t judge yourself for what you did that kept
you away from love, and work to forgive yourself. Learn from your mistakes and focus on the
One of the most important things you can do to be more available is to be more present and
focused on the moment. Go on each date with an open heart and be present. You will find love
again, but only with an open mind. The risk is worth the reward.
What do you think are some ways to become more available for a relationship? Has there ever
been anything that has held you back? Share it with us in the comments below.