What Does It Really Means When Someone Doesn’t Text Back?

 This past week I was having a conversation with two different ladies in our database about “texting etiquette.” Both of them were seeing guys who were not very good at texting back. One of them was only using snapchat with the guy she was dating. They’d constantly just snap back and forth, but never talk on the phone or rarely see each other. Some of the questions these ladies asked were: How long should I expect to wait to hear back from a text? And should I say something to him if he doesn’t respond? In this modern world of global communication, is it strange when someone doesn’t text you back?

Although I am old fashioned and prefer a phone call over a text (especially when I was dating), I think the questions surrounding texting etiquette need addressing. It’s a funny way to communicate, with words across a small digital screen. But it’s also quick and easy, a simple way to get a yes or no answer. Then why do we make it so complicated?

What Do They Really Mean? 

I know someone who met a guy through friends. They hung out and were inseparable but then things started to get more serious. She wanted to meet his friends and his parents. She started leaving clothes at his house. They went on a final date and then he started getting shady. No return of texts, no return of phone calls. One time he went a week without texting her back, only to resurface saying he had “lost his phone.”

What Are They Really Saying?

I am not interested in a more serious relationship with you and I don’t know how to say it so I’m just going to put distance in between us instead of being direct. 

Another lady I know was dating a guy who would text and call at weird hours of the day. He claimed it was because of his work schedule, but he only wanted to hang out with her late at night. He didn’t take her out on dates, he didn’t really even want to get to know her. She was- in all senses of the word- just his booty call. The only problem was, she didn’t know this. With their constant texting and phone calls, she assumed this was leading to something more.But when she would text him about romance, he would suddenly go silent for weeks on end. What was the sudden silence about?

What They Are Really Saying: You’re fun as a booty call and I have no intention of showing you off. I probably have a girlfriend/boyfriend (or maybe even hustband/wife) at home.

A guy I know is a text-aholic. He sends about 8 or 9 texts at the same time. If you do not text him back within 10 or 15 minutes, he assumes you’re mad at or ignoring him. He met a lady and went on a few dates. After each date he would text her right away, sending several texts saying what a great time he had. I warned him to cool down on the texting but he didn’t listen. After date number three, she just stopped texting him back, never to be heard from again.

What They Are Really Saying: You’re coming on way too strong. Let me do a little of the chasing.

So what is the lesson here? People know how to communicate, they know how a text message works and no, she didn’t lose her phone. If you are suddenly given the cold shoulder, there is a reason for it. A true gentleman or lady will call you, set up dates, and do whatever they can to spend time with you (and not just in the middle of the night). He or she will text you back and will be the one sending you the first text message. If they’re truly interested, you will know. You won’t be able to keep away.

In this text-happy generation, try not to get too text obsessed. A text message here or there is fine, but if you start texting non-stop, you end up looking like a psycho. Also, if someone doesn’t have the decency to text you back, ask yourself, “why am I bothering with them? I’m worth so much more!”

Because you are.

Hope this helps you.  Do you have any other tips on ways texting etiquette? Also, let me know what other questions you have in the comments below and I’ll make a video about it next time. Did you like this video? If so subscribe, and click the little thumbs up button.  

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