How To Eliminate Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety is a set of unnecessary fears men have about initially approaching women. In nature, pretty much everything beautiful happens to be deadly. But women don’t typically tend to be dangerous to men (unless you’re John Wayne Bobbit). So what do guys have to be so afraid of?


Bridging the gaps

Knowing there’s nothing to fear is our first big step towards building our confidence levels and squashing approach anxiety. The next thing that we need to work on is retraining our brains. Our minds are stubborn, and even though we know we should not be afraid, our mindset and thought process are still the same. We can address this issue through a process called, ‘bridging the gap in mindsets’. In doing this, we will overtime move from anxious to confident.

So for example, your mindset before approaching a woman to speak with her may be,

  • “She is going to shoot me down.” or “She is going to reject me … hard.”

So you can replace this mindset with bridging thoughts.  Instead, you can think, “If we don’t hit it off, that’s OK. Not everybody gets along.”

When you find yourself thinking in an anxious mindset, rewrite the words running through your head with thoughts similar to these.


Focus on the positive

In addition to constantly redirecting your anxious, negative thoughts into attainable, positive, situational mindsets, work on what you take away from each encounter. Instead of dwelling on not getting the phone number, or that she didn’t feel like entering into a conversation with you, think about the positive aspects of what happened: “I didn’t get her phone number, but she was very polite and didn’t make me feel bad.” or “She didn’t really want to talk to me, but she was nice about it, so I have nothing to fear next time I approach a woman.”


No More Fear

If you practice bridging the gaps between mindsets and focus on the positive aspects of all outcomes, your mindset will become more confident in nature. Instead of those negative thoughts like in the example, you’ll automatically start thinking things like, “I feel great and we’re going to hit it off!” This confidence factor alone will lead to more and more success.

Sometimes women really are just out with their girlfriends and don’t want to deal with being hit on, or they had just been hit on prior to your arrival and you just have the misfortune of bad timing. But 98% of the time, if she isn’t interested, she will let you down easy. Most women are not mean at heart and don’t want to intentionally hurt your feelings, so there’s absolutely no reason to let approach anxiety limit your opportunities.

For more additional, personalized dating advice, reach out to us and one of our dating coaches will contact you!

Do you have any tips on how to deal with approach anxiety? If so, leave them in the comments below.

Remember You can find the love you’ve always wanted and receive the love you deserve.

You just have to Take the First Steps Now!