How To Tell If Someone Is The Relationship Type
It has happened to the best of us … probably more than once. You invest time and emotional energy into a relationship with a person who is simply not the relationship type or they are at a point in their life where a relationship isn’t what they want or what they need. Whatever their reasons are, when this happens it’s exhausting and above all else, disheartening. It can feel like you’ve been swimming against the tide and gotten nowhere.
It would be so much easier if people wore little tags that stated their intentions and emotional state, ‘still banged up and not sure when I’ll actually be ready’ or ‘served my time in post-relationship purgatory and am now ready to commit to the right person’ –but they don’t. The fact is, many in this day and age are not at all clear about their intentions and sometimes even mislead the person whom they are dating through verbal signals that don’t coincide with their feelings. These unfortunate aspects of human nature can make it difficult to understand who you should be giving your time, energy and ultimately opening up your heart to.
Your time, energy and heart are all valuable commodities. So, we are going to give you a few key things to look out for to help you better distinguish between someone who is ready for a real relationship and someone who may be a fixer-upper that is better left as someone else’s project.
PLANS & SCHEDULES
If the person you are dating starts bringing you up-to-date with their schedule, you may be on to a keeper. This means that he or she is really opening up to you. Not only are they diminishing their privacy by giving you access to this information, but it also implies an amount of self-imposed accountability. It’s like saying, “I have nothing to hide from you and I have no issues with you knowing where I am.”
When someone starts to include you in their upcoming plans, whether it be day trips, weekends or even just making plans to meet up for lunch, they probably see some sort of future with you and might be looking for a relationship.
Many people misread these cues. They hear someone speaking frequently of their priorities and think that the person they are dating is driven or motivated. But, if your guy or gal is often mentioning their life priorities, it can be a subtle or subconscious way of hinting that these things will likely take ‘priority’ over you. This is usually a pretty good indicator that they are not relationship ready and it might be a good idea for you to heavily reexamine your situation with this person.
You may be thinking, what does sharing food have to do with anything? Silly as it may sound, this is important. Some folks are hardwired with animal instincts never to share their food, but for most people, it is a matter of comfort and caring/nurturing. When a man cares about a woman, he will want to see her taken care of and happy. So, when she reaches over to snag a couple fries, he most likely won’t shoot her the, ‘Are you out of your mind, woman!’ look if there is a high level of caring. With women it is similar. A lady who wants to nurture the man she is with won’t mind too much if he snags a couple of the tasty shrimp from the top of her salad.
Some of us procrastinate and are chronically late for a whole list of things. However, a date should never be on that list, especially a date with someone you really like. When a person likes you, they tend to look forward to seeing you and take the necessary steps with their daily activities to make sure that they put their best foot forward and arrive on time. If your guy or gal is always on time when you meet, they might just be taking extra care not to disappoint you and very well could be the relationship type.