He didn’t text you back...what does that really mean?

Regardless of your relationship, we all get a little antsy when someone doesn’t respond to a text message. Don’t beat yourself up for being overly sensitive. We’re all inherently self-doubting and self-conscious to some degree, especially when it comes to social matters. 

Especially when it comes to people we are still getting to know and we want them to like us, then the stress is on.

Waiting for someone to text back can be painfully nerve wracking in and of itself, let alone when you have just sent a text message to the new guy you’ve been pining after. 

Those seconds, minutes, and hours can feel like an eternity. 

This may not be an issue once you've been dating (have you visited our professional matchmaking page?) and are in a stable commitment, but until that point, there's a lot of uncertainty.

Here are a few ways to interpret what might be going on if your date doesn’t text back:

No response

Maybe you need to cut him some slack?

If you haven’t known the guy you’re texting very long and you don’t know his schedule, give him at least a day before you start to freak out. 

You don’t know what his life is like. 

He could be working and super busy and hasn’t even checked his phone to see that you’ve texted him. Don’t be the needy girl who needs a response instantly to feel validated. You are important, but maybe he needs to learn how to make you a priority in his life.

Take a breath and give him a little time. 

Having said that, if it’s been over 8 hours or so and his reply doesn’t include an apology for taking so long to reply, he may not be as into you as you hoped.

If you’ve been with this man for a while and you know there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to respond to you in a timely manner (I mean within 3-5 hours), then his lack of a response could be a red flag (especially if this is a new behavior and/or you’ve communicated a dislike of this type of behavior). 

It doesn’t always mean he’s cheating, but this could be a bad sign. If you are in a long term committed relationship and you have agreed on your expectations - now you have a broken promise and it needs to be addressed.

He Texts Back- But Ignores What You Said

Regardless of how long the relationship has been going on. If your date doesn’t text back for long periods of time and then ignores what your message said, this can mean a couple things.

If he ignores what you said and starts a different conversation about something else completely, he might not care what you think and only want to talk about what matters to him

In this instance you are merely someone he can talk to when he’s bored or seeking validation of some kind. 

If he ignores what you said and requests to see you out of the blue, you might just be a booty call (especially if it’s late in the evening and he pulls this type of stunt). Lastly, he might be ignoring what your message said because he has something to hide. 

If you asked him a point-blank question and he changes the subject, he most likely doesn't want to answer the question because he know you won't like the true answer.

When he Frequently Responds with a Single Word

If he is constantly responding with single word responses (“okay”, “yeah”, “cool”, etc.) or a single emoji...he might be bored by you. I know this is a harsh reality, but come on, ladies, if he can’t make the effort to come up with a clever response or add a bit of humor to the conversations, that’s just lazy!

He doesn’t need to craft a long winded response, but a plethora of single-word responses generally means he’s only responding to spare your feelings.

In this new age of communicating electronically, trying to gage if someone is interested in you or not is even more complicated than it once was. And that includes texting with your partner.

It might be innocent or it might be a red flag warning you of something bigger. With a little text message savvy, you are sure to be better at reading the signs.

Have additional suggestions on what it means when your date doesn’t text back? If so, be sure to add your thoughts in the comments below!


This article was originally published in 2016 and has been updated for you!


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