Here at LUMA, we want to send you on your last first date. To help the date go more smoothly, we've provided some tips to polish up your game!
You've got the jitters, you're nervous and excited interchangeably, and all you can think of is that this person could very well be "the One." As the date approaches, you may be counting down the hours and minutes, and approaching it as if it were a job interview. Relax! Dates should be fun, and if you're nervous, your date will most likely sense it and return the vibe.
While you can't anticipate how your date is preparing for the occasion, we've got some tips for how you can go into the date with total confidence. Our experts have compiled this list of first date tips to help you feel completely ready:
Look the part. I know, I know, you want your date to appreciate you for your amazing personality, but it's a package deal! You want an attractive partner, so make yourself as presentable as possible. This includes (but is not limited to):
- Taking a shower
- Getting a haircut/styling your hair
- Cleaning/trimming your nails
- Posture. When you stand up straight, your attractiveness to others shoots upwards. In the back of your mind, consider how your shoulders are aligned while sitting and standing. Walk with purpose--stand tall and confident.
- Dress with class. Show off your personal style, but leave something for the imagination.
Crew necks do not belong under your dress shirt unless you’re below legal drinking age. V- necks or tanks are okay.
Also, if you’re not wearing a tie, then only one button should be undone. Please spare us that “sexy” chest hair.
- Don't overshare. Leave a little mystery. Don't even mention your ex, or get into details about your personal issues. This isn't a confessional--no need to air all of your dirty laundry!
- Be positive! Negative energy is unattractive, and you will receive what you project. Don't speak poorly of anyone or anything. You never know--the thing you're talking down may be your date's absolute favorite. Don’t criticize or talk negatively about other people in the room. This is just shallow and immature.
- Table manners, please! Don't eat with your fingers--the silverware provided is an excellent tool for getting food to your mouth without looking like a caveman. Use your knife to help guide your food onto the fork.
If you order a beer, pour it in a glass. It’s a lot classier and attractive.
Don’t chew with your mouth open and do not talk with food in your mouth. I know this sounds like your mom talking, but some people need reminding.
Use a napkin, and put it on your lap.
- Leave your dating horror stories at home. Talking about previous dates, your experiences on Tinder, and dating in general is not appropriate conversation for a first date. If they are truly curious about your entire romantic backstory, it can wait for another date, way down the road. If it does come up, change the subject as quickly as possible.
- Give them compliments. You know how much effort you put into getting ready for this date, and it's likely they spent just as much. Show them that you appreciate their effort! You don't need to be a creep to get the point across; tasteful compliments will give your date a little ego boost. Compliments should be genuine--if you are observant and considerate, you will find something specific that you like about the person that you can comment on to make their day (and earn you extra points with him or her).
- Humility is sexy! Bragging is a bad look. You may be proud of your accomplishments, but a first date is no place to try to impress someone with them. They are here to get to know you, not what you own or what you've done professionally.
- Be a good listener. Your date can tell if you've been listening--know how? You ask questions. If you're paying attention during the conversation, you'll naturally have some follow up questions. For instance, if they mention that they enjoy water sports, follow up by asking which ones and why. When they are talking, respond with your facial expressions to show that you are engaged. By listening more, you'll not only get to know your date better, but it will take the pressure off of you to do all the talking.
- For the men: Chivalry. Open doors. Pull her chair out for her. And definitely pick up the tab. If a man wants a second date, he needs to pay the bill on the first date; don't ask her to split it. All of the little things add up, and if you treat her like a lady, she'll reward you for putting in the extra effort.
- Kindness. Your date will notice how you treat the waitstaff, cashier, and anyone else you encounter on the date. Your true colors show in how you treat people in a "serving" role. Be polite!
- Eye Contact. Non-verbals are 93% of communication. Look into your date's eyes; it may be how a love connection is made. When you don't make eye contact, your date feels as if you are distracted or uninterested, and may respond in turn.
- Two drinks max. Getting drunk on a first date is extremely unattractive. They came out for a date, not a babysitting gig!
- Focus. There may be clanging dishes, bright colors, or even an attractive passerby.... Keep your energy focused on the person that you're with. Checking out another person will definitely kill your chances for a second date.
- Don't take your date to a place where you know everyone. You don't want to be perceived as a bar rat, or constantly interrupted by your friends and acquaintances. Your date may also gather that they aren't the first person you've taken to this spot and may feel slighted by this. Make them feel special!
If you happen to run into someone you know... Be polite, make introductions, and then end the conversation quickly by saying "It was nice to see you."
- Put the phone away! Not even out on the table. Don't take any calls or reply to any texts.
- Be flexible. Your date may not go exactly as planned. Be a classy date, and take it in stride. Your date will not fail to notice your patience and flexibility. If something goes awry, it may be a good opportunity to show off your spontaneity!
- Watch your mouth. If you need to use the restroom, say, "Excuse me, I'll be back in a minute," not "I have to take a piss." No one wants to know what you're doing in the bathroom! Limit your swearing--it's often a sign of a limited vocabulary.
- Volume. Don't be loud and obnoxious. Speak at a reasonable level for two people having a conversation with each other, not with the whole room.
- After-Meal-Check. When you're done eating, excuse yourself to the restroom to wash your hands and check your appearance in the mirror. You may find some unexpected leftovers in your teeth! Keep mints on hand.
- Smile! This is an easy way to show your date that you're enjoying his or her company. Even if you do not foresee a second date with this person, show some courtesy and be polite.
- Spare the drunk stories. Your date doesn't want to hear about how wasted you got last weekend. This is an uninteresting conversation topic and is not attractive or classy on a first date.
- Compliment your parents. People generally like family-oriented individuals. Tell a pleasant story or two from when you were growing up.
- And finally, don't do it! No matter how well the date is going, resist temptation and do not have sex on the first date. Earn your date's respect by saving some of that anticipation for the future.
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments below!