The prospect of dating after losing a spouse is a minefield of emotions, the most prevalent of which is guilt. It’s common for widows and widowers to feel torn between honoring the memory of their late spouses and seeking happiness with someone new. They often struggle with guilt and the feeling that they’re betraying their deceased spouse.
You shouldn’t let these negative emotions keep you from finding love a second time, however. Reentering the dating scene after your spouse’s death takes a lot of patience and self-reflection, but it’s possible.
If you think you’re ready to meet someone new, read LUMA Matchmakers’ dating tips for widows and widowers.
Acknowledge the guilt
It’s normal for bereaved spouses to feel guilty for going out with someone new, but you shouldn’t take it to mean that you should never open your heart to another. You only need to evaluate your emotional state and figure out what your boundaries are.
For instance, you may be comfortable with having coffee dates for now, but not with dinner and drinks. Many bereaved spouses who’ve gone back to dating say that the guilt subsides over time. So, you can just stick to what you’re comfortable with at the moment and wait until you’re ready for more. Just make sure to clearly communicate your boundaries with the people you meet so that you’re on the same page.
Don’t try to replicate the past
There’s a tendency to see someone who’s died through rose-tinted glasses, which can be hard for both you and the people you date. Idealizing your late spouse will make your dates feel that they have to live up to that ideal, which can be frustrating. It also sets you up for disappointment because, of course, you’re not going to find someone exactly the same as your late partner.
So, don’t try to replicate what you had with your late spouse. It’s important to treasure your memories with them, but you should focus on creating a future instead of living in the past when you start dating again.
Tread lightly when it comes to children
Getting children on board with your new relationship requires time, which is another reason to take a budding relationship slowly. You don’t want your children to think that you’re trying to replace their late mother or father.
Communication is key here. Once you and your new partner have decided to commit to a serious relationship, you need to initiate a dialogue with your children. Allow them to express their emotions and opinions about the matter and answer them as honestly as possible.
Consider matchmaking services
The thought of meeting near-strangers can be daunting for widows and widowers. If you want to skip the exhausting trial-and-approach dating experience, then matchmaking services are a good fit for you.
Working with professional matchmakers allows you to vet people before you meet them. The matchmaker will ask what qualities you’re looking for in a partner and what your non-negotiables are then connect you with someone who fits the bill.
Ultimately, matchmaking services help lessen your anxiety about reentering the dating scene after the death of your spouse.
If you’re interested in trying matchmaking services, look no further than LUMA Luxury Matchmaking. Our matchmaking experience is completely personalized according to your needs and preferences, making dating an enjoyable experience for you.
Contact us today for inquiries about our matchmaking services.