Tips to prepare yourself for the
NEW LOVE of your life!
Many people who are recovering from a divorce are not in the best shape to start dating right away. A divorce can traumatize anyone, especially if your ex is someone you deeply cared about or left you feeling hurt and vulnerable. Whatever the reasons are that led to the divorce, the bottom line is you need to take care of yourself first before you even consider looking for a new person to welcome back into your romantic life.
Taking care of yourself is important because your feelings of self-worth and self-esteem have probably been badly damaged from the split with your ex. You may have thought that you were the best partner anyone could ever have, but your ex may have pointed out things about you that he or she did not like. These things could be petty stuff like your choice of perfume, your tendency to get obsessed with video games, or even your choice of restaurants for Date Night. The point is that getting divorced can affect your confidence, so it may in turn affect how ready you feel for a date with someone new.
If you seem to be having trouble bouncing back even if your divorce happened a significant time in the past (months or maybe even years), then it may be sensible to find a relationship counselor who can help you move on. You need to know what is delaying your recovery so that you can be ready to date again. A good counselor can prepare you for your new dating life by working with you to remove any feelings of negativity that remain. You can find a good counselor among your friends or relatives if you cannot afford an actual psychologist – just make sure the person you consult has your best interests in mind. The last thing you need is to confide in someone who then spreads around what you confided to his or her friends.
Mr or Mrs Right
If you have been able to get good counseling and feel that you are ready to date again, the next step is to find the right date to ease you back into that world of romance. Right in this sense means someone who won’t be turned off by the fact that you are a divorcee. This person should also have the potential to be a good partner eventually. If you are middle-aged, you may want to ask yourself what age bracket your ideal date should be in. If you are already in your 50s and above, that also applies. Identifying the right age for a prospective date is important because you definitely want someone who is mature enough for a committed relationship so that if you marry him or her, the relationship won’t wind you back up in divorce court.
The nice thing about getting to date again after a divorce is that you now have the chance to make a fresh start. You can start to find reasons to smile again even if you are still looking for a new significant other. And your future may start to look brighter as well because you now know that you have what it takes to be a good partner in any relationship you enter in the near and distant future.
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