As a Matchmaker, I talk daily to people about what they’re looking for in a match. One of the things I hear people say is they want someone who is confident.
Now being confident can come in a lot of different forms and layers, but today I want to talk about the layer of confidence that is derived from being knowledgeable in a wide variety of areas and having several hobbies or skills to derive confidence from. Being well rounded and knowledgeable about several things is a very attractive trait. Knowledge has two different forms – what we can do with our skills and what we know. In order to stand out and attract the most ideal people, it’s necessary to have various hobbies or skills and also be knowledgeable. Not only about what’s going on in the world, but just knowing a bit about everything. It’s not enough to just be attractive and have a good career.
People are looking for that extra something more about you that gives them the spark and interest to see you again. Often times people tell me they’re looking for someone who is passionate about something. It could be a cause, a hobby, anything. If your only hobbies or passions are hanging out with friends, eating, or watching tv, then you’re likely to miss out on attracting the person you really want. Think about the Dos Equis commercials with the most interesting man in the world. You want to push yourself towards being that Renaissance man or woman. I always say it’s better to be the person everyone is talking about that talking about everyone else.
I’d like to challenge you to take a look at yourself. How many skills and hobbies do you really have? Saying you used to like to do something is not a hobby and doesn’t count. Nor does it count if it’s something you only do once or twice a year. Just be curious and go after what you’re interested in. Curiosity is a very attractive trait and also something people tell me they’re looking for in a partner. What are you curious about. Now ask yourself what topics are you interested in and could be something you could learn about. It doesn’t matter if it’s only something that you spend only an hour on and does not relate to anything else you’ve ever done or your career. For example, I downloaded some books on audible about blockchain currency because I wanted to learn more about what that is. I don’t really have a need for it, but it was interesting and helpful to understand it now since you hear about it constantly in the news and such. The other week I met with a client whose career has to do with blockchain currencies and it was very helpful to know what he was talking about and he was impressed I had learned a bit.
Knowing a bit about various topics will not only expand your mind but will ultimately make you more unique and compelling to have a conversation with while on a date. Part of the attraction is being mysterious and your date trying to learn more about you in order to better understand you. The more you keep surprising them with all your knowledge and skills, the more impressive and interesting you will be. And being interesting is a good look on anyone.
A couple of other ideas of things you may do are learning a new language, taking a class such as cooking or dancing, or joining in on some sport such as volleyball, kickball, or even just yoga.
What is something that you can do in order to challenge yourself to grow, which will lead to a new bit of confidence? I’d love to see it in the comment section below. If you don’t know yet, come back in a few days and let us know what you’re doing or going to do!
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