Like a fresh, sweet piece of fruit, a relationship can go from good to bad in a short amount of time. Sometimes the honeymoon phase of a relationship lasts longer than we anticipate, and we are excited and grateful. Most times, however, it leaves us blindsided, unable to connect the dots as to where it went wrong and where we should go from here. Every relationship is good at first; that’s just how it is. The reality of relationships is that they’re real, of course, and as Murphy’s law would have it, anything that could go wrong will go wrong. Nothing is a fairytale.
Will you persist as a couple and make it through the hurdles or will you surrender to hardship and move on to the next “right”, easy, exciting part of a new relationship? There are ways to avoid both outcomes. It all has to do with identifying red flags that are right in front of our faces, though we may lean towards ignoring them more often than not. After being through many relationships, or even a few bad ones, it’s about time you addressed the red flags to avoid a rotten conclusion years, months, or even weeks later.
The biggest culprit in relationship myths is the story we create about a potential new partner when we first see them. We may see a handsome man with a kind smile and a confident voice, but no layers. We ignore the layers because we want to see our soul mate, prince charming, lover, friend, or long term love. We manipulate our own story in hopes it will end the way we want, in marriage, or happily ever after.
We need to stop being blinded by our own misguided beliefs and see the person past who we want them to be. We need to make a conscious effort to recognize who they are at their core, even if it’s not who we want them to be. Making these small efforts will help you see clearly during the first part of your relationship, as opposed to the last. You have the power to take off the rose-colored goggles.
If you see something in your new partner that is non-negotiable, it’s your right as a human being to walk away. It may feel cold, but, in truth, you don’t owe them much at this point. In fact, you’re doing them and yourself a favor walking away before either party gets too involved. You cannot change someone at their core, and attempting to will leave you both in heartbreak.
Someone amazing is out there for you, whether you believe it or not. If you keep finding non-negotiable qualities in your partners, break your streak. Date someone outside of your type. You could be disregarding great people by compartmentalizing them. No one deserves to be put in a box. Get to know them before you shove them under the bed. Everyone should try it at least once. It will give you perspective about what you should look for in a new partner.
Allow people to show you who they really are. A pinch at first in finding out they’re not who you thought they were is a lot better than a punch at the end. Do yourself a favor in the dating world. Don’t compromise on what’s important to you. You and your partner should never have to change the important things for one another.
What major red flags do you tend to ignore on the dating scene? Tell us in the comments! Until next time.
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